Unbaby.me…? No way; there is no turning back (English version!)

The app that has opened Pandora´s box.

A few days ago there was much buzz about Unbaby.me, a new web application that blocks baby photos from facebook timelines. It is designed thinking of those who can’t stand one more picture of various friends’, workmates’, second cousins’ and other contacts’ bundles of joy. The polemic ensued with many non-parents welcoming the messianic arrival of this liberating application and many proud parents furiously raging against such an affront. You can read a New York Times article here that discusses the issue.

Yet, I don’t write this to confess that I also post my child’s pics to facebook –likely to some people’s chagrin—, nor to reflect on the effect this excess (?) may have on some of the contacts in my network. Unbaby.me has made me think about how things would be ‘sans baby’ in my life timeline. It is not an idea I entertain, by any means… but, what would happen if today I run this app on my life and all that has to do with the baby and motherhood as a whole was suddenly blocked? It really isn’t that hard to imagine, since

Unbaby.me would block the sleepless nights, the absurd pride when the baby can hold the sitting position (or eats solids or takes the first few stops), the constant and pressing worry, the intense happiness when hearing his laugh. And the things that I knew before would remain: the day to day with its thousand facets, the projects, significant other, work, hopes, friends… a varied and full set that would comprise, as it did comprise, a perfectly complete and happy existence.

However, I realize that in addition to blocking the typical joys and pains in the neck naturally involved in being a mother, Unbaby.me would also delete a whole category of thoughts and feelings that I now find in my life timeline, and that weren’t there before. For example, when I read or hear about someone else’s tragic story it affects me at a much deeper level, because whoever is the subject of the pain he or she is someone’s child –and that mere fact gives it a painful prominence that I can no longer ignore. I believe I was never a monster with no ability for empathy, but being a mother has definitely awaken in me a degree of humanity that I did not have before. The Indian guru Rajneesh said that “the moment the child is born, the mother is also born. She did not exist before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. The mother is something absolutely new.” I guess in my case the mother that I am now has brought me a different sensitivity, and that goes beyond the child. It is something that has redefined me as a person, and that is irreversible. When being a mother there is no turning back. You are there to stay.